Romance-Repulsed is a term that describes an individual who is uncomfortable with acts of romance. One does not want a romantic relationship and they do not enjoy romantic activities. One may feel incredibly uncomfortable with being given flowers, candlelit dinners, or consuming romantic media. One may also dislike hearing about others' love lives.[1]

Romance-Repulsed flag

This isn't always related to feeling disgusted or thinking that "romance is nasty." This may be simple mild discomfort, extreme anxiety, annoyance, contained anger, or feeling physically sick.[2]

This is not to be confused with romance-negative, which is an ideology and political movement that describes romantic love as inherently unhealthy, pathological and unnatural.[1]

This term is commonly used by those on the aromantic spectrum.[3]

History

It is unknown when the term "romance-repulsed" was coined, but it has been used within the aromantic community for years. The idea of interaction stances was coined and given proper definitions by Reddit user AnonymousHermitCrab on the r/asexuality subreddit.[4]

Flags & Symbols

The romance-repulsed flag was created by Tumblr user Beyond MOGAI Pride Flags on January 15, 2018. However, this flag is also labeled the romance-averse and romance-negative flag. There is no known meaning behind the flag.[5]

Subterms

Label Description Coiner
Romance-Drained When one is repulsed by romantic interaction due to trauma or exhaustion. AnonymousHermitCrab[4]
Label Relationship Description
Friendship-Repulsed Counterpart When one is repulsed by platonic interaction.
Romance-Ambivalent Counterpart When one has mixed or complicated feelings regarding romantic interaction.
Romance-Averse Similar When one is repulsed by romantic interaction involving themselves.
Romance-Desired Opposite When one actively desires romantic interaction.
Romance-Favorable Opposite When one is favorable towards or enjoys romantic interaction.
Romance-Indifferent Counterpart When one is indifferent towards romantic interaction.
Romance-Oscillating Counterpart When one's feelings towards romantic interaction change and/or fluctuate over time.
Romance-Piqued Opposite When one is favorable towards romantic interaction due to trauma recovery, mania or other causes.
Sex-Repulsed Counterpart When one is repulsed by sexual interactions.
Touch-Repulsed Counterpart When one is repulsed by sensual interactions.

Sources

  1. 1.0 1.1 The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project. “Attitudes toward Romance or Sex – the Ace and Aro Advocacy Project.” The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project, taaap.org/learn/attitudes-toward-romance-or-sex/.
  2. romance-repulsed-aros. “Queer Things.” Tumblr, 2019, raavenb2619.tumblr.com/post/662610798043168768/romance-repulsed-aros-romance-repulsion-is-not. Accessed 17 Sept. 2024.
  3. Gilmour, Paisley. “Aromantic Meaning Explained by Aro Folks.” Cosmopolitan, Cosmopolitan, 19 Sept. 2018, www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a23304501/aromantic/. Accessed 17 Sept. 2024.
  4. 4.0 4.1 AnonymousHermitCrab. “Coining/Recoining Interaction Stance Terms.” Reddit, 27 Apr. 2022, www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/ucy0kl/coiningrecoining_interaction_stance_terms/.
  5. beyond-mogai-pride-flags. “Sex and Romance Negative/Repulsed/Averse Pride Flags.” Tumblr, 15 Jan. 2018, beyond-mogai-pride-flags.tumblr.com/post/169725646550/sex-and-romance-negativerepulsedaverse-pride.