Femme

Femme flag

Femme is a term that describes queer individuals who present and act in a traditionally feminine manner. Those who are femme do not adhere to societal norms of gender femininity, instead they deliberate subvert, exaggerate or blatantly reject patriarchal femininity. While the term is primarily used to describe sapphic women, it can be used by genderqueer and non-binary individuals, or even queer men.

Femme symbol

Femme can be considered both a form of gender expression and a gender identity on its own. As a gender expression, it may involve having long hair, wearing clothes designed for women, having feminine facial/body features, wearing makeup, or having a "girlish" demeanor, speaking voice and/or mannerisms.

Being a femme woman is often mistaken as being gender conforming, however femme queerness is still a form of gender non-conforminity. Femme individuals are often not believed when they tell someone that they're queer, lack recognition from other queer individuals, are often harassed by straight men, feel as though they have to "prove" their queer identity, lack acceptance within the LGBTQ+ community, and are assumed to be straight.

Etymology

While there is no known meaning behind the name, it is believed to come from the French word "femme," which means "woman," from Old French "feme" or from Latin "femina."

History

The term originated in the working-class lesbian community in the mid 20th-century. Originally, it was a way to describe feminine lesbians who dated butches, but has evolved into a more expansive label for queer individuals who present in a feminine way.

Although it is argued that the butch-femme relationships at the time were attempts to mimic heterosexual relationships, butch-femme couples were often visibly queer. It's now often described as a political act.

In the 1970s to 1980s, radical feminists claimed that the butch-femme relationship was oppressive, and that one couldn't be feminine and in a relationship with a butch woman. During this time, femininity in lesbian culture wasn't simply a look, it was a statement.

Eventually, the butch-femme relationship stopped being the only way femme identities could be expressed. The term began existing separately from its butch counterpart.

Flags & Symbols

Femme flag by Isobug

The most common femme flag was created by Tumblr user noodle. The purple was chosen because of the pinks/reds of the lesbian flag, and to match the vibrant orange of the butch flag.

Lily Femme flag

Another femme flag was created by Tumblr user isobug, requested by an anonymous user. The hot pink represents aggressive and bold femininity, the bubblegum pink represents soft and gentle femininity, the white represents kindness and trans/non-binary femmes, the red represents activism and power, and the brown represents femmes of color.

Femme flag by disastergay

Isobug would make another set of femme flags called the "Lily Femme flags," which took inspiration from their previous femme flag, the genderqueer flag and the GNC flag. The lily was chosen as a symbol of femininity and admiration, meant to represent all femme individuals.

Black Femme flag

Another femme flag was made by Tumblr user disastergay. The red represents inner strength, the orange represents subverting traditional depictions of femininity, the pink represents community as well as loving and appreciating other femmes, the magenta represents performing femininity for one's self and/or the genders one is attracted to, and the purple stripe represents solidarity and appreciating butches.

The Black Femme flag was created by Reddit user SashaFierce101 on the r/lgbt subreddit. The dark brown represents black joy, the brown represents culture, the lighter brown represents heritage, the light red represents resilience, the pinkish-red represents femininity, the maroon stripe represents freedom and the dark red stripe represents intersectionality.

The femme symbol was created by DeviantArt user Cari-Rex-Lobo on October 13, 2014.

Subterms

Label	Flag	Description	Coiner
Hard Femme		Someone who has a hard edge to their femininity.	Unknown
High Femme		Someone who presents ultra-femininely.	Unknown
Stone Femme		A femme individual who does not desire sexual contact.	wuvsbian

Related Terms

Label	Relationship	Description
Butch	Counterpart	A term typically used by queer women who subvert and embrace masculinity.
Feminine	Similar	A term for an individual who has a more feminine gender expression.
Masculine	Opposite	A term for an individual who has a more masculine gender expression.
Twink	Counterpart	A term typically used by queer men who subvert and embrace femininity.

Alternative Flags

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  Lily Femme (Isobug)

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  Lily Femme (Isobug)

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  Lily Femme (Isobug)

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  Lily Femme (Isobug)

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  Lily Femme (Isobug)